After quite a while of trying to build up a "Brand" and an "Audience" as a musician/composer, I came to the realization that it super sucks. Self-promo to quickly wave a hand at passersby before the algorithms and rapid news cycles zoom them past me. Wondering why my creations get no engagement unless there's a bigger name slapped onto it (and even then that engagement is probably for the bigger name). A lot of mental and emotional effort goes in to trying to keep this up and fight these imposter-syndrome-like feelings.
Really, I just want to be heard and to feel like what I do and say has meaning to someone else. I started a newsletter at some point because I wanted a way to talk about anything to whoever was interested in my random thoughts. I think, semi-subconsciously, it was just a way for me to see who cares. Even that eventually became exhausting as I forced myself to conform to a specific schedule and structure that I invented myself (and could just as easily change).
Once I started the process of releasing Beautiful Monsters (my first professional tabletop game, made with my partner), I put a pause on the newsletters since I was so busy. It was nice to be free from them. Now, I find myself busy with more tabletop projects and with an utter uninterest in the newsletter. On the other hand, I've been curious about this Zonelets/Neocities thing for a while thanks to Melos Han-Tani's blog. I threw mine together just to have it existing, and now I'm feeling pretty attached to it.
I'm trying to avoid setting any expectations with this blog for myself/others. All I know is I'd like to write more and more freely. I'd like to meet new people and have discussions with them. I want to have something meaningful to myself and to others, on a personal level. Aside from Melos' blog (and games/music), I've been inspired by Dan Thurot (tabletop games writing), Amabel Holland (tabletop game design), and the general Japanese doujin tabletop scene. All of these people/things feel personal, thoughtful, and like they exist outside the confines of their respective industry norms. I aspire to be like that, too.
So, I guess that's why this blog exists? If you're reading this, thanks! And also "hey". I hope you get something out of this, and I'd love to hear from you.